An A to Z of Buddying
A
is for AIDS, what it's all about. It's for ANGER, what I feel about
it, and also for ARROGANCE, something we can't afford.
B is for BAXTER MACHINE - a device for controlling intravenous medication
over a period of time. This is NOT, I
repeat, NOT to be used for tea, coffee, or brandy, whatever the client
may say to the contrary.
C is for COFFEE, consumed in large quantities on the "night shift"
while COPING, which amazingly you do.
D is for DIGNITY. Please, please allow them that. It is also
for DYING - to be DISCUSSED, not ignored. It's no secret, and avoiding
the issue doesn't help.
E is for ENERGY and ENTHUSIASM - both very necessary.
F is for FEELINGS. You discover some you never had before, and some
you never want again. Also for FAMILIES, yours, and theirs.
Don't forget them.
G is for GIVING, of your time, and love, and commitment.
H is for HAPPY TIMES - raising a riot and breaking all the rules - while
they're still capable.
I is for INTUITION, and acting on it, sometimes against the clients' wishes,
like sensing that they need help however much they deny it.
J is for JOKING. It's not all serious or doom and gloom, and the
jokes can get as sick as the client.Q is for QUIET reflection, giving
yourself time to think and come to terms with it all.
K is for KICKING - against prejudice, and fear, and the often unthinking,
unfeeling reactions of others to your
client.
L is for LAUGHTER. It goes with the joking.
M is for MOVING FORWARD, staying abreast of the changing situation without
getting MORBID.
N is for NAUGHTY BUT NICE, when he insists on "just one brandy"
and you really shouldn't - but after all ...... Also for NO when necessary.
O is for OPTIMISM - being honest and realistic doesn't mean being miserable
or losing hope.
P is for PRECIOUS MEMORIES, of PRECIOUS TIMES. Also for PRIORITISING
in your own life. And for me, PRAYER.
R is for RESPITE CARE at the sanctuary in Bournemouth, and all the things
we got up to there.
S is for SENTIMENTALITY - absolutely forbidden! And for SENSE OF
HUMOUR - absolutely essential!
T is for TRUST and confidentiality - vital for client-Buddy relationship.
Also for TENDER LOVING CARE.
U is for UNDERSTANDING without condoning, their moods and feelings.
V is for VOLATILE. It's not all plain sailing. Tempers sometimes
flair - for all sorts of reasons.
W is for WINNING, every little fight possible, to make the client feel
WORTHWHILE.
X is for X-RATED CONVERSATIONS, hence the confidentiality!
Y is for YES, it is all worth it!
And
Z is for ZZZZZZZZZZZ's. You get them when you can - but lack of
sleep doesn't harm you permanently.
I
have tried to give you some idea of what Buddying has been like for me.
It just remains for me to thank the doctors and nurses of E wards and
GU Med at the Hallamshire Hospital for all their help and their generous
acceptance of me, an enthusiastic amateur, into their otherwise ordered
lives on the wards.
Written
by a former SHIELD member.
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